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Memorizing all these 4 years we meet………..
18 March 2011
“A Little Crazy Thing Named Love”, a movie from Thailand that fell really suits with mine……it will be end like that too……??????Nam said that the most stupid thing that she doesn’t do from a long time that never tell Shone that she loved him for this 3 years……but at the time she said that Shone has already have someone in his side…..but the truth is Shone have the same feeling with her. He can’t say it to Nam coz’ he has already promise to his friend, which like Nam too, to not become Nam’s Boyfriends. So secretly he always takes Nam’s picture to memorize all that they have been done. Jealousy, happiness, protecting, being romantic, that entire thing always he do secretly.
Nam’s side just likes my story, but I can never be courage like Nam, that suddenly chooses to tell Shone about her feeling. Coz I know my ending it’s not like that movies. That in the end after 9 years they apart, Shone still waiting her comeback and believing that Nam’s still have the same feeling like 9 years ago.
I feel in this man in the first sight we meet. I still remember that we are in the same group when the introducing collage event called “Unyil”. Try to built a tower from pipe, in that time he show his leadership sides that I always looking for from a man. From that event we being closer, we attend in the same class at the first year. He is the one that can makes me feel save around him. He just likes replacing my father’s place. It just like God sends him to replace my father’s place that’s passed away when I was graduated from my senior high school.
I still remember when we are have assignment from lecture to make handicraft from the crystal, he do that together with me in my home. When we are doing that he asked my opinion about him. He is the first man that asking me about that. He also asked how if there is no him……..and at that time I’m being speechless. From that I always think that this man the one who can read my mind. Honestly I can’t be lying to him. That’s way I prefer to not say anything than say something that can makes me look stupid in front of him.
In a time we are being best friends with another person. There is our friend that always being a part of us. At a time our friends draw a big heart in the paper. In that heart he writes on my name and him and crashes it into two pieces. He gave me the one part that wrote on his name and gave the other one to him. I know that our friend is joking with us, but at that time I just feeling so happy. After all he treats me so well. He is also the first man who treats me so well.
Another memorize that I have from him is when we are waiting for English class, me, him, and the others of our friends are waiting in the front of the language laboratory. At that time he is a class leader, so he must bring absent to the class. But he forgot to bring it from lecture room, and the distance from laboratory language to lecture room is quite far. At that day the sun is not shining brightly and raining is begin to falling down. He asked me to accompany him to take the absent in the lecture room. But the raining is starting to be heavy and then he said “you don’t need to accompany me, it’s raining now, and you can get a cold if you accompany me.” And then I think this man is really caring too much about me.
Well, when he makes me wound he really looks panic even that just a small wound. I don’t know why but I trust him so much, that’s why he is the first one who I make a call when I have problem with my family. Honestly he is not being the first in the purpose, but at that time I’ve calling him just to talk but accidentally something happen in my family and then I close the phone. Maybe coz’ at that time I just close the phone immediately makes him worried, so he call me back. But at that time I’ve crying heavily coz’ what happen in my family. And he is being the first one who saw me like that. I’m the one who won’t the others see my weakness. But at that time I feel I can trust him and share it with him. From that time my feeling to him is getting stronger. He is the first one to that I brought to my father’s RIP. I just feel comfortable when he just around me.
It just fresh in my memories a night when he comes to my house after playing futsal. He comes to take the materials to make the assignment. We talk in my terrace. He tells me about him and I also I talk about me. We try to understand each other. Once again he is the first man that I can talk pleasant. There must be too much “he is the first one that….” In this paper. I’ m always thinking too…..why he always being the first in my live……
Unfortunately in the second year we are not in the same class. From three of us, only me who is being apart from them. From that time I don’t know why but I feel there is distant between me and him. I’m start to busy with my study, so does him. And he looks fun with his new friend from the new class he’s attending. And I don’t know why I feel be ignorance by him. He just was being busy with what he did that time.
And At that time is being some introspection to me. Am I did the right think? From the start we meet I just have to feel this way. But now is this what I want? To be his best friend? Am I really just wanted to be his best friend? Am I doing this to another purpose? Don’t I become his best friend just because I want him to know me well and have the same feeling as I do? Am I? That question is always asking me for a long time. And then I realized something. That I become his best friend coz’ a purpose. Coz’ I want make him to know me well and have the same feeling like I do. And I just became a bad girl.
Coz of that me and him getting a distance. I’m start to feel that he don’t care about me anymore. He keeps saying that we are best friend. But in that time I’m not get that. He not care about me anymore. He little bit change. I don’t know it is because of our distance or something else, but in that time I was suddenly suck of that! I hate someone who always say best friend to the other but not carrying them like best friend. At that time I think it’s the time for me to give up this feeling to him. So in one time we have fight, he just hold my hands but get off it. I run away from him. For a couples day we don’t see each other. But I’m getting not mad to not seeing him. So I call him to meet and we talk. In that time he PROMISE to me to treat me well. He will treat me like I’m really his best friend. He won’t forget my birthday anymore, coz he already do that. At that time I was thinking that maybe become his best friend is pretty enough to me.
It still fresh in my memory when we have gathering to open the fast together at ramadhan months, after we finish eating in wong solo, we hang out in langkau, and in there he treat a girl very well in front of me. And not long time from that, he telling me that she was his girlfriend. Once again I feel hopeless with my feeling.
The most hurt thing you do to me is when we go to Singkawang. When you go to a girls house to give her a birthday present. At that time I’m not sick at all, not physically actually, but my heart hurting so much for looking you gift a girl that you known for 4 months a birthday present, that you never do that to me, the person that you always say a best friend. Maybe the date of my birthday you even forget that. At that time I really broken. I want to mad to you but I can’t coz you don’t know what my true feeling. For 2 weeks I must feel it the hurt by myself. The most hurting me is you always say we are best friend but you never really treat me like your best friend. At least I want to be some one that you tell everything, give you an advice. But for looking a girl present you even not trying to ask my help. So what is the real best friend we had??? Is it just me that always hanging on you????? That’s why I hate you when you say “best friend”.
Another “first” that been in you. You become first man that ever give me birthday present. Why you must be always first in my life. And now I don’t know how am I Supposed to do. Must I really happy, must I hoping further. I really want to believe that you have the same feeling with me, but at the same time I realize that I won’t expect too much coz I don’t want hurt too much. I’m so confused know. My heart can’t stop beating now. I really afraid to sleep coz I don’t want wake up and find that all of that just a dream. I really afraid to met you. Coz I know that you will be change. I’m afraid of my feelings, I’m smiling, but I’m hurting too. What should I do??????
I have delete all my personal photo from your laptop. I just want to remember that you don’t have any photo of mine and thinking that you always see that. In this confession I just want to say that I love you so much. But since you have read this, I also start to forgetting about you and my feeling to you. This is so selfish. But then my heart hurt too much I think this is the best way for me. Sorry, but I can’t stand any longer. Even being your friend that is the hardest thing for me. I love you…I love you…I love you only that words that I want to tell you. Saranghae MUHAMMAD AKBAR
Yonghwa said that love never be failed; even you called it one side love.
Love you in my way to love someone I cares too much.
Don’t need you to know, just need you to feel it….
The tears that run out from my eyes while I wrote this are same as the tears you don’t know I’ve been running out.
You never know how much I worried about you if you sick
You never know how much I’ve been jealous coz what you do to the others girls
You never know how often I’m thinking about you
You never know how often I dreaming about you.
You never know how much you’ve been hurts me.
You never know how much this tears are dropping coz’ of you.
You never know how much I hate this feeling
You never know how many time I want to forget about you
You never know how much I love you.
-From the one that you always call best friend, but secretly she falling for you-
So I make you Step Back from me even,
Coz, If I’m don’t do that i will always hoping and waiting for you.
that’s enough for me, coz i’m getting tired now
KARA’s Hara and B2ST’s Junhyung have been revealed to be dating!
On June 28th, Cube Entertainment announced, “They had a senior/ junior relationship until they began dating. They’ve been dating for about a month now. When Hara was going through some difficult times, Junhyung…
thank you for the resent but the truth is your present after your flight to me is more precious than the present that you give to me…..
This Woman that always looking at you secretly
This Woman that always care you deeply
This Woman that always worried about you
This Woman that always hiding her feeling for you
don’t you look at her
look into her heart deeply
felt that everything that she does is for you
don’t you know her feeling
felt the love that she gave to you
it’s too much
soo much untill she can’t hold in anymo
This Woman that always falling tears coz of you
This Woman that always being hurt coz of you
This Woman that always pretend everything just be okay
This Woman that always smiling to you
don’t you look at her
look into her heart deeply
felt that everything that she does is for you
don’t you know her feeling
felt the love that she gave to you
it’s too much
soo much untill she can’t hold in anymore
there’s just one think
one think that she want to hear it.
that you say “I Love you”
and then
all of the tears are running out
called happiness…
all that she want just to be happy
i don’t know why Donghae not using VIP gate…. maybe he want to say hi to all ELF who already waiting him since 09.00am at airport? okay, but it’s super crowded !!!! >____<


